Non-Valentine Phobia

We fear no valentine on February 14. I call it “Non-Valentine Phobia”. The fear is not the problem and the problem is not being alone, it’s that we believe that being alone is a curse of forever and that somehow we are destined for it.

Being Alone Is A Beautiful, Preparatory ActIn most cases, being without a partner is temporary. Few lives are that stagnant (unless you are a hermit) as to not invite change in at some point.

Being alone is a great time to hone in on improving the relationship with the self through many ways; self exploration, creative pursuits like art, photography, retreats or connecting with friends and family. Anything to FORGET the false thought that the aloneness is forever.

Being alone allows time for grooming. If that special person is coming soon, getting ready for it is key – emotionally, spiritually and physically.

Leo Babauta gives some great advice about this.

So does Charlotte Kasl:

“We begin our journey always remembering that there is a circular relationship between our ability to know and love another and our ability to know and love ourselves. I hasten to add that loving oneself doesn’t mean that we are perfect, fixed, all together, or any of those other common phrases. It means we are fully alive to our humanness-accepting, compassionate, amused.

Ultimately, as we become friends with ourselves and give up demanding that the universe provide us with a lover, we become truly open to meeting a special person with whom to share this journey of awakening. “

– Excerpt from If The Buddha Dated by Charlotte Kasl, Ph.D.

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